When they say that everyone is special . . . they don’t tell you that not everyone is using the same definition of the word “special.”
When they say that it takes two to make a thing go right . . . it doesn’t mean that the next person you see is necessarily the correct number two. (Okay, maybe just it’s just Rob Base who says that.)
When they say that you have a chip on your shoulder . . . it’s not necessarily a Kettle Chip. (But wouldn’t that be awesome if it was?)
When they say that it’s just a drop in the bucket . . . you still probably shouldn’t drink out of the bucket to see what it is.
When they say that a house divided against itself cannot stand . . . it appears they don’t get the concept of load bearing walls.
When they say that a leopard can’t change his spots . . . it’s still a bad idea to try to do it for him with permanent marker.
When they say that something is a blessing in disguise . . . you should probably still check under the veil to make sure you’re marrying the right woman. (Ooh! Old Testament burn!)
When they say that someone is a doubting Thomas . . . you know what, Thomas has probably taken enough of a beating in 2000 years. (Ooh? New Testament Anti-burn?)
When they say that you’re getting a slap on the wrist . . . make sure they’re just using their hand and not a weapon.
When they say that you’re between a rock and a hard place . . . try walking out at a 90 degree angle to either the rock or the hard place. (Wait, isn’t a hard place just a metaphorical term? Walk out through the metaphor!)
When they say that it is the dog days of summer . . . do you think dogs are offended?
When they say that you should exercise your brain by taking a different way to work in the morning . . . they don’t mean just driving the same route in reverse. (Sorry Officer MacDougal.)
When they say that you’re a big fish in a small pond . . . it doesn’t mean that you can splash around in the school’s fountains. (Sorry again, Officer MacDougal.)
When they say to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes . . . don’t steal them and then run that mile. (Again Officer MacDougal, sorry and thanks for letting me pay for bail in the pennies from my drawer.)
When they say a picture is worth a thousand words . . . Wait, I could have just been doing pictures all this time? I’m outta here.
Weight: 232.2 Loss: 7.8 lbs – Running Yearly Mileage: 86.7 miles (+5 miles)
Fitocracy Level: 17 (34034 points, 816 to next level) – ID: disciplev1
Soccer – Last Game: L, 6-9 (Record: 1-4) Next Game: 4/15 – 5:50 pm
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