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2012-366 Day 191 – Motivation

Well, at least I made it past the halfway point before starting to seriously wonder what I am doing with this. I’ll let you know up front that I’m still going to post tomorrow, so if you want to skip the introspection and negativity, come on back after you read the next sentence. After some of the reaction I got on the End Times post, I realize that I did not adequately describe it in the introduction, as it is most certainly an (evolving) opinion piece, and not meant to be doctrinal in any sense. With that out of the way, I definitely feel that my motivation for writing this blog has taken a pretty big hit in the last week or so.

After reaching the halfway point, I have to wonder what I am doing here. I originally stated that my goal for the blog was a writing exercise, but I feel like I have stalled in that endeavor. This daily format with life ongoing does little in the way of helping with inspiration, and, while certain longer posts have proven (somewhat) popular at least when looking at web statistics, long posts are difficult to produce on a daily basis. I just denied the 1,012th spam comment on the blog today since the end of February, and have gotten only about 60 real comments on 190 posts. I know I initially said that I didn’t care if anyone read the blog, and I can see in the traffic patterns (and in talking to people) that I have a few dedicated readers (don’t worry, I can’t individually identify you, unless of course I talk to you), but when it gets to the point where people only say something if you mess up, you start to wonder whether you want to keep going.

And that’s really where this is coming from, I suppose, in that the biggest reaction I’ve gotten in running this blog for 190 days came with the End Times piece, and it was decidedly negative (well, not so much was, it is ongoing). And I respect that reaction and definitely know there are points where I am going to be wrong, but in 190 days of posting I’ve never had that reaction in the other direction. The best received posts I think have been the Dodger Softball Tournament blog (which, unfortunately, I put up before I installed the analytics for the website), and the Cars Land review I did (which accounts for 7.5% of all the page views since I started keeping track), which I do appreciate the positive feedback on.

I think my whine train has run out of steam, more from fatigue than a dispersion of feelings. I suppose I will go get punched a few times tonight in sparring class to take my mind off of things. I’m going to continue this exercise, and hopefully resume not worrying what people think, but I really need to discover how to best move toward the goal of improving my writing, because the current mechanism isn’t working (and it’s terrible that I’ve gone over halfway to discover this). I’ll also let you know where I’ve erred in the End Times piece, as I certainly am not going to argue that I didn’t make any mistakes in logic and my smarter and much better trained friend is concerned and wants to talk about it.

Thanks for sticking around if you did read through all this. I want you to know how much everyone who reads my stuff means to me, whether you leave feedback or not. I appreciate the time you invest and hope to make it pay off for you one day if it hasn’t already. It is certainly on me to make sure that the information I put is compelling enough to encourage you to come back, and I appreciate your willingness to read even on a down day.

Weight: 229 Loss: 11 lbs – Running Yearly Mileage: 197.6 miles (+3 miles)
Volleyball Match Record: 3-1 (7-5 Game Record, -4 Point Differential)
Fitocracy Level: 22 ID: disciplev1

Posted in Matt 2012-366, Matt General. Tagged with , , .

4 Responses

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  1. Dad said

    I just want you to know that I read your blog every day on my RSS. It may not show that i read it but i really enjoy them. I am not a big commenter, as you can see by my Facebook but i like to read your stuff. Keep It Up!. I want to see a year.!

  2. Dad said

    I just looked and I was the only comment on the end times blog?

  3. Brandon said

    Sorry you’re down Matt. I hope the punching in sparring tonight helped 🙂

  4. THe Big M said

    The biggest reason to set these goals and do creative things is for yourself (that is, something you create is between yourself and God). Artists hope in audiences but at bottom they feel need to give their art or craft breath whether other people look or not.

    This is a creative outlet for you, and God is always looking! And so are people “out there” who love you whether they are saying so or not 🙂

    So then, you will never know who you are REALLY influencing or writing for, really. That’s God’s domain…but let that thought give you a happy heart!

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